you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
