I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize