you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize