you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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