So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
