Porn is love you can see.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
