My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
