I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
