drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
