Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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