I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
