so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize