she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
