You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
