who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
