Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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