Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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