It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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