She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He? As in you personified your dick?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.