that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink