I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
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You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
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Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants