When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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