well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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