She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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