Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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