girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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