so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
