i barfeds in our rink
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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