It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
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I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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