I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
