I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
false alarm, still single
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