i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
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His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
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The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize