I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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