doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
