who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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