He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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