4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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