Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
