you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
