I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
