Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize