It was confusing and full of hummus
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
