I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
