The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
