you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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