Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
