Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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