Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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