hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
