What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
