shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
