Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You need a sexual gate keeper
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
