I hate your face
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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