It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
