Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
