wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
