Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
