Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
