I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she peed on how many people?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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