She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
