The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
