? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
