My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
