I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
