bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
